Thursday, January 14, 2010

The long adoption story

Our Adoption Story.....
I’m just going to warn you that this is long, so prepare yourself if you're going to read it all. :)

Really according to God our adoption story started almost 8 years ago. TJ and I were married in May of 2002, and we did not want to wait, at all, to have children. We were married young, and all my sisters married young and had children soon after and I wanted to follow in their footsteps in the same way, and thought, why wouldn’t I? God had other plans though, I just didn’t know it at the time. We tried for 2 years and I cried month, after month after month. Then in July of 2004 we found out we were pregnant. We were so over joyed and everyone had been praying for us as they knew we had waited and wanted this. The news was out, everyone knew, and TJ and I went to the first doctor appointment to hear the heartbeat. But the doctor couldn’t find it. She said, we’ll need to take you down to the hospital to use the newer ultrasound machines instead. The next day we went down there did an ultrasound and saw a lifeless picture of a little peanut. She gave me the worst news I had ever heard in my life. All this time God was preparing us on our journey, we just didn’t know it at the time. The next year we moved to Minnesota. Little by little the idea of adoption was put in front of our face through people we met and friends and acquaintances. Never in my growing up life, did I picture myself adopting but as we saw it more and more we started to put it in the back of our minds. First I/we, selfishly were not ready to give up our dream of having a baby. So we sought out an OBGYN who specializes in infertility. After numerous treatments and tests and month after month of disappointment, I physically and emotionally couldn’t handle the stress anymore. I really thought that this would work, and that this is what we were supposed to do, and after all the hassle, and tests, and doctor appointments putting failure on top of all the work was too hard. So we took a break, and looked for another option. During that next year we visited 2 adoption agencies to get more information on how they work and see what options were available and what we thought we were supposed to do. God had a plan for us, we just didn’t know it yet. We still struggled with what God wanted us to do/what we thought we were supposed to do/and what I had always dreamed of doing. I never imagined being married 5 years before having kids. However this was our current circumstance, and I was mad about it. I hate to have to admit this part, but it’s the harsh truth about the story. I was mad at life and God, and everyone else who seemed to get exactly WHAT they wanted WHEN they wanted it! It seemed everyone I knew, everyone my age, and everyone I saw, when out shopping or something, was pregnant. A constant reminder to me of what I’d always wanted and struggled to have, and a sad reminder of what we had for a moment and lost. By now it had been 6 years, more time had passed, more adoption realizations had been presented to us, and God was working in our lives and focusing our attention more on kids who are already out there and needing a home and someone to love them. So we met with a third adoption agency. This one was a God honoring agency and we were excited about their mission. So we started working with them. We felt a need more for older children and sibling groups and helping the children who were labeled “hard to place”. The fog started clearing. We realized that God’s hand and working really was in this the whole time. If this is what he wanted us to do then that is what the wait is for. If we had previously birthed children we wouldn’t even considered adopting older children. So we started paperwork, and meetings and more paperwork and traveling to meetings. Towards the end of 2008 we were asked about meeting a family of 5 children, and a family of 3 children in foster care waiting for a permanent home. So in mid-December we traveled up and met all of these children. We had NO idea what to expect and were so nervous and scared. After going up there we were sooo confused to be honest. How could you say no to anyone and how can you pick who your kids are. It’s a crazy weird experience lets just say. :) If we chose any of these children there were meetings and paperwork that still had to happen before anything else could happen so we were set on the waiting list. We waited for them to get back to us, and waited and prayed and waited. We didn’t know what God had planned for us, or what we were supposed to do, so we prayed for wisdom and a clear understanding of what we should do. Finally in March of 2009 we were asked if we would adopt 2 of the children we had met previously. We weren’t sure what choice to make, but once presented with this option we were thrilled with the idea, and that the choice was no longer a choose this or that, but here are 2 boys will you give them a home? But, still more paperwork and waiting had to happen. We were finally given the o.k. that the paperwork was finished and the next batch of paperwork could start which meant we could start the visits with them, and slowly make the move into our home. May was filled with more waiting as we waited for the move to happen and wondered when it would happen. We were having such a good time visiting with the boys we couldn’t wait for them to move in permanently and to be their forever Mom and Dad. Finally after many hours of driving back and forth every weekend, June 19th we became their forever Mom & Dad. We were excited, they were excited. It was a huge roller coaster of excitement! ;) God has been so good to us, even through the rough times of life. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you, Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” We are so grateful for the Lord’s unfailing Love, and his provision and faithfulness. If it weren’t for the hope we have in the Lord we wouldn’t have grown through the tough times and I personally wouldn’t have made it through those rough years. God is good to us, even when we lose sight. I’m so thankful for that. Not many times are we ever thankful for the rough times of life, but God knows best and I can say that He used those rough times to mold me and make me a better person. And if it weren’t for those rough times, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have a stronger faith, or relationship with the Lord like I do, I would still be selfishly wanting my own ways in life instead of God’s ways and things would be much harder. I pray that our story can be used by God to give hope and encouragement to anyone out there. God is always and will always be working in us to make us who He wants us to be and to be a better person for His name sake. Some times the things He needs to change in us are big, sometimes they are little. Sometimes they are quick, sometimes they are long, hard and very painful. But whatever the case, however big or small, if God is in it, He will carry you through. This year we will celebrate 8 years of marriage, what a rough 8 years it’s been. But, to God be the glory great things He has done. June will mark 1 year since the boys moved in, it will be a special day. They give us so much joy and love. We couldn’t ask for anything more. We’ll see what the next few years hold, and we’re praying for the other children, whoever they may be, that God has already planned and prepared for us.

1 comment:

Your Mother said...

Thanks, Stephanie, for sharing your heart. It is so hard when we are struggling to think that this is God's plan for us. But we can always look back and see that God was working to mold and shape us into vessels fit for the Master's use. You guys have 2 very wonderful boys and you both are doing a great job teaching and guiding them to be God fearing citizens.

You might also like these posts.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...