Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Wow! What a response.

I can't believe it! The response to my last post has been overwhelming. There's been numerous comments posted. At last count there was 2. It's just amazing! All the excitement has been for the TaterMitts though. But it's understandable. They're amazing. I guess I've never really used them but I just know from looking at them that they work great. What would we do without products like this, and this - Urine Gone, or the 5 in 1 Sofa Bed and the Spountin. Wow!

I guess I can't go to work tonight. My car is stuck in the garage. Technically, it's not stuck, but I won't be able to get it out of the driveway. They are getting ready to FINALLY pave our road. Apparently I should have answered the door while I was sleeping earlier. They told us it wouldn't be for 2 days. It's a good thing Stephanie has the Rendezvous at work, cause I'll just have to take that to work tonight. Hopefully it won't be very long. Good thing we just got some groceries. We might be trapped in our house for a month of two.

I'll try and get Stephanie to post something. I know you three could use some insightful wisdom from her.

Have a great day.


William said...

I will admit I was skeptical at first but after watching the tatermitt commercial for myself, I'm a believer. Your informative blog is truly a benefit to all of humanity!

- Will

Brian "I eat danger for Breakfast" Niehoff said...

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo
toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for
her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing
up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2
men march down to the factory floor.

When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me
Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At
the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me
Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2
men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it
around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and
approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,
"but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.."

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.”

Louis O'Tool said...

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, was laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

RCW said...

I have always trusted that what TJ says so I think I am going to go right out and buy "Urine Away" I figure I can use it at my desk. It will save me from having to get up to go to the bathroom. What a wonderful invention!!

RCW said...

Frankly I'm appawled at the language that 2 of our finest missionaries are using on this site!!! Eluding to Testicles... butt cracks!! I would have thought that you 2 would know better!! Anyway....... I laughed so hard at these 2 posts that I had to grab my testicles before they dropped into my butt crack!!

Washow said...


The jelly fish story totally sounds like something that would happen to me. It is kind of like my bathroom story while I was hunting.

TJ and Stephanie said...

For those of us that don't know the "hunting" story, would you care to elaborate Washow? Keep in mind that nobody knows your real name Washow.

Brian "I eat danger for Breakfast" Niehoff said...

yeah Washow lets hear the story

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