Friday, March 6, 2015

March 6th....a fading etch.

July 2004 we found out we were expecting for the first time.  Right away the dr said baby would be due March 6th... I etched that date in my mind totally excited that our first child was expected to come EXACTLY in the middle of my husband and my birthdays. His is March 1st mine is March 12th. March 6th. What a perfect day it would be. 

A few weeks later in August we went to hear the baby's heart beat, only it could not be found. Our sweet expectation turned to sorrow. And the etched excitement of March 6th turned into dread. I didn't want March 6th to come.  For the next couple years I would mark baby's birthday on the calendar. We moved states the next year and that possibly made it harder to deal with. No one who was around me currently was around during the most painful time of my life.  To explain your pain to someone is not the same as them being there while you go through the pain. 

I sit here looking at the calendar realizing today is March 6th. Somewhere between then and now God has done a marvelous work in me. I do not dread March 6th. I am not angry anymore. Believe me this took a long time. But now I trust in my Savior more than ever before. 
The etch of excitement turned to dread, but after much time God allowed that etch to fade as I focused on Him and His agenda for my life over my own agenda. 

What things have etched fear or dread or anxiety in your mind?

Give it to God and let him help fade the etch mark. 


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