Do you ever feel like you're doing the right thing, yet (other) people are unhappy with your decision?
Discouraging isn't it?
Don't you just want them to understand?
Let me shed a little light.
Picture this.....
You just lost your spouse.
Are you going to go to the Marriage retreat?
Are you going to go to a class where everyone else is a couple?
Are you going to go out to with another couple?
Do you see how these things might cause pain to that person? They see the couples, and feel the hurt of not being a couple anymore. They feel the hurt of missing their loved one. They feel like they don't fit to the surroundings.
Does this mean they are never going to do anything again? No. But does it mean they might be a little more picky about which things they do partake in? Yes! They are going to be more specific in picking the events that cause less pain just from attendance. They are not going to continue to go to the events that are geared towards marriage or couples, because it doesn't currently apply to them. They would maybe feel out of the loop, in the conversation or just plain discouraged and sad.
Should you shun them for not wanting to participate? Should you make them go anyway?
Well, maybe we can be a little more encouraging to one another. Ask, but don't force. Respect their decision. If you see a recurring theme from someone, care about them enough to see their life circumstance, or their hurts and struggles, and not ask them to that kind of event, but something else. It doesn't mean to give up because there is one certain even they don't want to attend.
Do I have your attention? Good. Now, who am I talking about?
Well, I could be talking about myself, just not in regards to the aforementioned topic.
I have two children. I love them dearly. But I never got to cuddle them as sweet little babies.
{Oh how I've longed for such a thing.}
So while I love to cuddle with other peoples babies, I can not be a consistent part to the (1/2, 1, 2, 3) hour conversation about babies and everything they entail, at "name the event". So maybe you can understand when I see an event focused on babies, or an event where everyone there has a baby (imagining they are 90% going to talk about baby things) and I choose not to go. It's not because I don't care about those people. It's more because I don't fit in, in that aspect and it's painful to sit there and listen and never be able to be a part of the conversation. Don't get me wrong, I will and have gone to many different things that turned painful for me by nights end. I don't tell people that, but I might just start a new topic of conversation! :) But there are just certain things that are harder to attend. So if I choose not to go, maybe realize it's because I'm trying to make a wise decision and not put myself in a discouraging situation. I'm not saying you can't have the event, and I'm not going to tell you to talk about something else. Talk about what you want to talk about! Just realize I might not come back....but not because of offense. Because I need to protect myself.
Think about something you protect yourself from.
Are you purposely going to put yourself in harms way? Sometimes it just comes up on you, and you handle it with a smile. Other times you know it's around the corner, and you have to protect yourself by going the other way.
I'd love to know if you're out there and have hurts, or things you're trying to protect yourself from. Maybe you're also walking the path of infertility and need a helping hand of someone else who's in your shoes. I'd love to come along side you and pray for you. Maybe it's some other kind of struggle, I'd still like to pray for you. Leave a comment, or email me.
If anything I want to encourage you....
step out and let others know if you're hurting so they can bear your burdens, (Galatians 6:2)
if something or somewhere is grounds for temptation or discouragement, don't go there.
if you see someone else hurting, encourage them. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
And then to leave you with comforting words from a great song, Through It All.
I've had many tears and sorrows,
I've had questions for tomorrow....
But in every situation God gave me blessed consolation,
that my trials come to only make me strong.
I thank God for the mountains and
I thank God for the valleys,
I thank him for the storms he brought me through.
For if I never had a problem,
I wouldn't know that God could solve them.
I wouldn't know what Faith in his Word could do.
Through it all, Through it all.
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.
Through it all, Through it all.
I've learned to depend upon His Word.
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