Today is "National Talk Like A Pirate Day". ARrrrrr.
So a pirate walks into a bar. The bartender asks the pirate why he has a steering wheel in his pants? The pirate says, "Arrrrgh! It's driving me nuts!"
That was courtesy of Assistant Pastor, Jeremy Arends.
TJ
Same bar the horse walked into and the bartender asked "Why the long face?"
ReplyDeleteSo I walked into a bar, and it hurt!!
ReplyDeleteI have another as well. TJ will like this one...
ReplyDeleteA boy named Timmy and a boy named Tommy where talking to one another.
Timmy says... " My grandmother has a wooden leg."
and Tommy says..." Well MY grandmother has a wooden chest!"
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........
ReplyDeleteDuh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Your smile for the day. Think about this the next time you're standing in line at Wal-Mart.
It's great to hear a story once again from "louis o'tool".
ReplyDelete